


The End Is Not

by Chilled_Mango_Beans



Category: Durarara!!
Genre: M/M, Major character death - Freeform, Shizuo why, how could you, i regret writing this, idk what I did, it's so sad, it's too late for that anyway, izaya is suffering, sorry if it sucks, this is not for Izaya's birthday, very weird writing, why
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-05
Updated: 2017-05-05
Packaged: 2018-10-28 10:12:32
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 975
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10829166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Chilled_Mango_Beans/pseuds/Chilled_Mango_Beans
Summary: Izaya's suffered enough.





	The End Is Not

**Author's Note:**

> Mango: this has been sitting in my drafts for a long time, so I decided to finish it and post it here.
> 
> Mango: Enjoy... not really.

Izaya sat at his desk, staring into his kitchen.  Namie looked at him with concern.  He should be looking at his new clients, or checking in on his chatrooms, or-

Namie cleared her throat.  “What are you thinking of?” she asked, looking away from her documents and at her employer.  His eyes were distant, blurred.  He didn’t hear her, and she had to repeat her question before he looked up.

Izaya blinked, looked at Namie, blinked again.  “What are you thinking of?” Namie asked again, quietly this time.  Izaya stared at her and Namie saw something in his eyes, and it made her worry.

**_What are you thinking of?_ **

 

**_What are you thinking of?_ **

 

**_What are you thi-_ **

 

_ “Izaya.” _

 

_ Izaya blinked and turned around to look at a blonde haired man, a smile on his face.  “What is it, Shizu-chan?”   _

 

_ Shizuo was bent over the fridge, his head inside the large container.  “You ran out of milk,” he muttered, standing straight and glaring at the blackette.  Izaya’s smile grew as he stood from his place at his desk and headed over, making Shizuo eyes narrow. _

 

_ It wasn’t hatred, no. _

 

_ Izaya’s arms slid between his lover’s and rested on his waist, and they shared a look.  “I’m sorry, i’ll make sure to buy some in the morning,” Izaya said, quietly.  Shizuo huffed, his cheeks changing shades, like roses in the spring.  His head connected with the space between Izaya’s neck and shoulder. _

 

 

_ “I’d like that,” he mumbled. _

 

Shizuo.

 

“Shizu-chan,” he said.  His voice was so quiet that Namie had to come closer to hear him.  Saying his name was like a curse.  Izaya screamed his name and he cried, maybe if he whispered his name, caressed his face, told him he loved him, he wouldn’t have-

 

“Eat,” Namie said.  She had a bowl of rice in her hands, gestured it to him.  Izaya’s eyes were baggy, dark, devoid of emotion.  He didn’t speak, but accepted the white food into his hands and stared at it.

 

“Do you want me to hand-feed it to you?”  Namie said, a little too harsh.  Izaya flinched,  _ it hurt _ , and Namie’s heart pounded in her chest.  She breathed out,  _ calm.  Calm. _  “Here,” she whispered.  She grabbed the chopsticks and picked out a piece of the rice and put it to Izaya’s mouth.

 

_ Shizuo sighed.  His attempt at making dinner wasn’t going so well.  Izaya stood next to him with an amused look on his face.  “Let,me try it,” he said, his hand on Shizuo’s shoulder.  The blonde shook his head, golden locks springing about.  “Come on, you can even feed it to me.”  The taller man hesitated, he was scared, before he picked up a piece of steak and put it to the raven’s mouth. _

 

 

The rice made it.

 

Izaya finished it in 20 minutes, too long for a bowl of rice…

 

“Are you going to do any work?” Namie’s voice echoed through the room, she was in the kitchen, washing the bowl out.  “No,” Izaya rasped.  He was tired, worn.  He hadn’t slept since he-

 

“Go sleep,” Namie said.

 

He did just that.

 

_ It was 4:26am when Izaya opened the door to his apartment.  His job took longer than expected, and he was so tired…. _

 

_ He had shrugged his coat off and thrown it onto his couch, when he noticed Shizuo’s glasses on the coffee table. _

 

_ “Damn,” Izaya muttered, staring at the object before taking off his shoes and heading upstairs to his bedroom. _

 

_ Shizuo was asleep in his bed. _

 

_ Izaya frowned, taking off his clothes one by one until he was only in his boxers, then grabbed a rather large shirt and tugged it on.  He slid into the bed and pulled Shizuo closer to him, his face finding its way into the blonde’s fluffy hair. _

 

_ “‘Yer late, flea,” Shizuo said into his neck.. _

 

_ “I know.” _

 

_ Izaya rubbed gentle circles into Shizuo’s back, and he could hear his gentle breathing, and everything was ok. _

 

_ “I love you,” Shizuo said, and then he was asleep. _

 

_ “I love you too,” Izaya said. _

 

_ Too late. _

 

_ Too late. _

 

**_I WAS TOO LATE-_ **

 

 

Izaya woke up refreshed and new and  _ ok _ .  He got out of bed, made coffee, grabbed his coat, and left.

 

He did not notice Namie.

 

_ “Why didn’t you tell me…?” _

 

_ Shizuo was standing at the door with a frown. _

 

_ “I just… I just thought it wasn’t necessary-” _

 

_ “Necessary my ass!” Shizuo yelled.  “Izaya, i’m your fucking boyfriend!  You’re supposed to tell me stuff like this!”  He was leaving, don’t leave, don’t leave me, i’m sorry- _

 

_ “Shizu wait.” _

 

_ He’s gone. _

 

 

Being in Ikebukuro was… weird.

 

_ Where’s Shizu-chan? _

 

Izaya walked.  And walked.  And walked.  And walked.  

 

He did not notice Simon.

 

He did not notice Celty.

 

He did not notice Mikado, or Anri, or Kida.

 

He noticed the alley though.

 

And he stared.

 

_ I hate you. _

 

He stood still, couldn’t move.  The whole world had frozen over, he was frozen, he was  _ cold _ .  

 

_ “Sh-Shizu…?” _

 

_ His eyes were blown wide.  There was blood, dark red ink stained the dirty ground. _

 

_ Shizuo was…. Dead? _

 

_ Izaya ran over and kneeled down. _

 

_ There was a knife in his hands.  Bloody. _

 

**_His knife._ **

 

_ “Shizu… Shizuo….”  Izaya chanted his name, like it was the only thing he knew.  His lap was full of this dead man, this dead man in his arms. _

 

_ He’s dead, he’s dead. _

 

_ Izaya was crying now, salty droplets falling from his eyes. As he cradled his lover in his arms. _

 

_ “Shizuo… why…?” _

  
  


“I will die here,” Izaya said.

 

He was standing in the middle of the alley, knife in hand,  _ his knife, Shizuo’s knife. _

 

He clutched the knife in his hands.  HIs hands were shaking.

 

There was blood on his hands.  Was it his blood?  Was it Shizuo’s blood?

 

He raised it to his neck.

 

_ I’ll see you soon, Shizuo. _

...

...

...

  
A clean cut.

**Author's Note:**

> Mango: Is it shizaya? Is it Izuo? The world may never know XD
> 
> Mango: anyway, this is not for Izaya's birthday, that would be mean.
> 
> Mango: my writing has become weird ever since I started reading Fahrenheit 451, so this might have seemed a little weird?
> 
> Mango: anyway, hope you enjoyed, comments and kudos are welcomed!
> 
> (If anyone cried i apologize, really) 
> 
> P.S. also, WHOA... 975 words???? this was so long!


End file.
